The strange world of the anti-smoker

Surfing the web looking for new and interesting perspectives on the antics of the anti-smoker crowd can be depressing at times. The mind can handle only so much bullshit and bafflegab before shutting down in self defense. That's why it's such a break to come across more off beat news stories related to smoking.

For example, the Georgia man who broke out of jail, broke into a convenience store and stole fourteen cartons of cigarettes, then tried to break into jail again. No one should have to endure that kind of nicotine fit.

The obsessed anti-smoker
According to austriantimes dot at, an obsessed anti-smoker (is there any other kind?) dangled his neighbour from a third floor apartment balcony when the neighbour refused to put out his cigarette. Quipped a police spokesman: "The smoker dismissed the idea that smoking was bad for the health - it seems the anti-smoker had other ideas and wanted to prove a point."

Let's face it, this type of behaviour is totally unacceptable. The anti-smoker fanatics should stick to water-boarding and sensory deprivation.

Charging young people with possession
A proposal to make it illegal for youngsters to use or possess tobacco in Nebraska is being supported by both the American Cancer Society and Reynolds American. Uh-huh. Even the tobacco companies have jumped into bed with the anti-smoker zealots. Of course, that can only mean one thing; smokers are about to get screwed.

Under a bill introduced by State Senator, Arnie Stuthman, youngsters under age 18 could be charged with infractions for using or possessing cigarettes or other tobacco products. The penalty for a first violation would be a $100 fine. A second violation within two years would be $200 and a third violation in that time period would be $300. The bill doesn't stipulate what happens to the kids if mom and dad refuse to pay the fine.

Kids charged under the proposed law could get themselves out of trouble by providing evidence against the people who sold or gave them the tobacco. Uh-huh. Don't worry kid. Your mother/father/brother will be out in no time. Just tell us what we need to know and you can walk away a free boy.

Calling Sherlock Holmes
The body of a man found dead from smoke inhalation following a fire in a townhouse complex was sitting in a classic yoga position. Police were baffled by the positioning of the body, but believe the fire may have been caused by a cigarette smouldering on the bed's mattress, which was covered by an electric blanket. Uh-huh.

So the guy lights up a fag, drops it on the bed and assumes the lotus position for a little quiet contemplation. He goes into a trance so deep he doesn't realize the bed is on fire and he wakes up dead, er . . . he's dead before he wakes up. Just another smoking related death.

It will be interesting to see what the Coroner's Inquest comes up with for this one. Assuming of course they have such things down under. Maybe they'll be able to answer a few questions. Was the electric blanket plugged in? And, just what the fuck was in that cigarette?

Police said that the fire was not suspicious. Huh?

Fake tobacco smells
Anti-smokers, and even some non-smokers, find the smell of burning tobacco offensive. But some smokers in the Netherlands apparently miss the odour of the evil weed. Who wants to wake up and smell the coffee if its not mingled with the unmistakeable aroma of good tobacco. Coffee without the fag is just not natural.

Which may be why Rain Showtechniek, a Dutch company, now sells fake cigarette smells to Dutch bars and cafes. Company spokesman, Erwin van den Bergh, says: "People find that smells such as Mocha coffee, Havana cigars or cigarettes can be about good moods and different ideas of living well.”

Van den Bergh also suggests there are other good reasons to use the fake smells, like to mask the reek of sweat and stale Beer.

I wonder if the stuff is available through mail order. There's an anti-smoker fanatic at the local Legion who would make an ideal candidate for a practical joke. I could smear her favourite chair with the fake smell and watch her work herself into a frenzy trying to figure out what lout had the audacity to light up and foul her airspace.

Customers desert smoke-free restaurant
The Chinese have the world's highest rate of smoking prevalence. A state owned company has a virtual monopoly on the tobacco trade. Prior to the Olympics held in that city a year or so back,. Beijing authorities had written to 30,000 restaurants asking them to voluntarily put smoking bans in place. There were apparently no takers.

Well, OK, there was one. Meizhou Dongpo, a restaurant chain serving the spicy fare of southwest Sichuan province, apparently lost about 80 percent of its clientele after going smoke free in October, 2008.

"We figure that if we're going to die, at least we're going to die honorably," Guo Xiaodong, deputy director of the restaurant chain, was quoted as saying in a Reuters article.

I guess no one told them about the need for a “level playing field” before going smoke free.

Pig’s blood in cigarette filters?
A recent study in the Netherlands reports it has identified 185 different industrial uses of a pig, including the use of its haemoglobin in cigarette filters.

According to the Money Times: “During the course of the research, at least one cigarette brand sold in Greece was confirmed streamlined with pig’s blood to make the product fairly effective in blocking harmful chemicals before they could enter a smoker's lungs, said Simon Chapman, University of Sydney Professor in Public Health.”

Chapman fears the findings could be problematic for Muslims, Jews and vegetarians who refrain from pork consumption due to religious beliefs.

The Greek cigarette brand in question was not identified.